I still love you, you know
by drlaafje007
Summary: This is my first fanfiction, I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think and if I need to continue. It's about Demi and Selena but I just put it under Camp Roch - Wizards of Waverly Place. And if I continue maybe it will be Rated R - Femflash
1. Chapter 1

**Present time**

Justin and Selena's home Los Angles –

"Selena! Where are you? Selenaaaa!?"

"I am here, in the kitchen what's going on?"

" Ha there you are. Wait a minute, why are you not dressed?"

"Dressed?"

"Yes, we got a meeting in hour about your production company, remember?"

"O yeah, damn forgot about that…"

"Well come on then, get dressed. "We really need to go you know, it's important."

Yeah for you, Selena whispers so he can't hear it. "I will be ready in 20 minutes okay?"

"Okay, I go walk and feed the dogs in the meantime. "

**Selena's Pov:**

How could I forget? Probably because I don't care as much as I used to. I just wish he wasn't so commanding you know? "We have to do this and we have to do that "Well that's what YOU want Justin but does he ever cares about what I want? No. The last couple of months he only thinks about what's best for him and him only. I am like his muppet he likes to drag with him. Let the world know how cute we are together and how in love we are. Yeah we used to be like that but not so much anymore, believe me.

**60 minutes later, in the building of the production company:**

"Justin, Selena, You are finally here!" It's nice to see you two again and still so in love I see."

Justin smiles to the man named Carlos and gives Selena a quick peck on her cheek. "Guys I want you to meet some people who I invited here " Carlos says.

They walk to a office and there are 4 people waiting for them. Selena only knows one person, Justin's manager Scooter. They walk to them and greet them.

" Hi nice to meet you, I am Roger, this is my colleague Marco and his wife Nicole." Hi nice to meet you too " Justin and Selena almost said equal.

"Well tell me" Selena says, "What is this all about? " I know that it's important but Justin said it was a surprise and didn't want to tell me. "

"Well.." Carlos says "I think Justin will explain you now, right Justin? "

"Yes. " Sel I am so exited to tell you this. "I thought a lot about us the last couple of weeks, about our future but also about work and I came up with this brilliant idea. "I want to take over your Production Company and place my own people in it. "I am sure I can make this big you know? "Like Oscar winning big." And Scooter found these people who already work in a production company and they are very intested." What you think? "

Selena listened to this and with every second she heard him talk she got angrier with him. When he was finished she stood up from her chair en looked around the room.

"Are you serious?" How could you Justin? " Amanda is running this place and she does it damn well and you just want to take it over like it doesn't exist ? "

"No Sel, listen to me." I want to make it bigger and better you know, so we can work with the best actors in the world." It will give us more opportunities for movies and stuff."

"You know Justin, I got this feeling that you don't think about me but only about your wallet. "

"Come on Sel, you know sooner or later this place won't exists anymore because nobody knows about it." When I give it a name and people know it's mine, they will work with us."

" Really Justin?" Well you know what. I am done here! " You can do whatever you want but you are never ever goanna get this company." This is mine and will remain mine!"

With that she walked out of the building. The building is in the middle of nowhere. No shops, no restaurants, no cafés. Nothing. It's getting late and she is hungry. She takes a cap back to the city. After a 15 minute ride she steps out of the cap in downtown Los Angeles. Looking for food she enters a tiny bistro.

" Hello good evening, do you have a reservation created? "

"No sir".

" Okay, well let me see." Oh I have a free table in the back."

" Okay good."

" Alright follow me."

"So here we are." What would you like to drink?"

" A glass of white wine please."

" Alright, I will be back in a few." Here I have the menu Mrs. "

"Thank you sir. "

After a few minutes, while looking in the menu, she hears a familiar voice coming closer, screaming and yelling. Selena gets cramped en tries not to pay attention but the yelling becomes louder. She hears the voice of the person she pushed out of her life. The person she never ever wanted to be friends with agian. Well, that's what she told her self but deep down in her heart she still loves that person with every bone in her body but she is to afraid to admit it.

"No Wilmer, that's what you always try tot do! "You live in your own world with your own fantasies. " I am not going there again with you! " You know how I think about it."

Selena gets more and more interested in the conversation so she puts the menu down and tries to peak behind the wall and look for what she wanted to see for so many months.

"Listen Demi, I am not having this conversation in this restaurant with you." We are going home!"

"I am going home when I want to go home and that's not now! "

"Well then listen to me." I just want you to calm down, every body is looking at us "

"So what?" I don't care, people already hate my guts so why would I shut up now?"

" Demi come on, talk a little softer would you or I will leave."

" Then leave! That's what you always do when I need you the most! "

After that, Selena sees Demi coming her way so she quickly picks the menu and put it in front of her face. Demi walks over towards the restroom. When she passed by, Selena quickly removed the menu and sees Wilmer leaving the restaurant…


	2. Chapter 2

Demi POV

I started crying while walking to the restroom. How could he? What is he thinking? We have talked about this so many times and he still thinks he could convince me to buy a home together. You know, I love him, but I have never been IN love with him. He was there when my world crashed and I thought I had no reason to live anymore. He has been there more than once and I love him for that but he also knows that I can't give him my heart. It has been to broken to give it away again. I just wish people understand my situation but every "friend" of mine said, let go of the past. Well it's true that I tell them that I have left the past behind me but truth to be told, I never did.

After a few moments I hear someone coming in to the restroom so I try to sob as soft as possible so the person wouldn't notice.

Selena POV

_Gulp. Gulp._ I down the last of my whine and walk slowly to the restroom. When opening the door I hear some sobbing coming from behind one of the toilet doors. I try to speak but I can't find the right words. After what felt like hours I finally got the balls to say something.

" Demi, Y-You okay in there?" I stutter out. I felt my heartbeat pumping up to 180. I have dreamed of seeing her again every night but in my dreams it were under better circumstances. I hear some nose picking before she opens the door and speaks.

"What the fuck? Seriously, out of all people you are the one who pops up out of nowhere when I decided to have a confrontation with "my boyfriend" which leads to a quarrel. You know, you are the last person on this planet I want to talk to, so get lost Selena! "

I scare of her eruption and feel tears building up in my eyes but I quickly blink them so she won't notice. "If that's what you really want then I'll leave" I say but I already feel immediately sorry for it.

"You heard me, leave me alone Selena. I don't want to talk to anyone and certainly not with you! "She says angry. She looks so sad and broken. I felt tears coming up again when I stared at her one last time before walking away. When I got back in to the restaurant, my food was already served. I am not hungry anymore but I need to eat something before going home. Home… it's a funny word because I feel like I don't have a home anymore. I moved out of my parent's house 1 year ago to live with Justin. But now after today I don't know were my home is.

Demi POV

Seriously, out of all people she is the one who shows up here. I admit, it's good seeing her again and I felt my heart light up a little but I don't want her to know, you know? She broke my heart 4 years ago when she said that we will never get a change to be together because of our careers. Her career was more important to her then I was. With that, she broke every little peace of my heart. I never felt so sad. I felt like my life was over and that's when I decided that go to party's, use drugs and alcohol. I thought that would let me forget about her. Wrong of course. She was my everything. She was there when I got bullied in school. She was there when my dad decided to show up one day at our doorstep after not seeing him for 10 years which lead to me feeling horrible for 2 weeks thinking about what he did to me and my family. I couldn't get his image out of my retina. I always got her back and she got mine. And now she has Justin and I have Wilmer. Well not quite but you understand what I am saying right? I dry my eyes and after checking myself in the mirror I walk out of the restroom. I see Selena sitting alone at a table looking sad while picking her food with a fork.

My heart hurts to see her like that but I need to be strong for once. I walk past her table when she looks up from her plate and looks straight in my eyes with those sad brown eyes. I feel tears building up and without knowing it I started to walk faster and faster getting out of the restaurant. When I am finally outside I look back to see her walking through the door, tears fall from her eyes. I walk to the parking lot to get my car but before I know it I feel some-one grabbing my arm…


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews guys. I am not sure were to go with the story but I will figure something out ;-). Oh and BTW, sorry for my English but I am a Dutch girl so it's not my first language.**

Selena's POV

I need to get out of here; I can't take it any longer. I walk out of the restaurant and while walking trough the doors I see Demi at her car with Hanna. I walk as fast as I can. I can't stand seeing them together. Demi and her so called "friend". I've heard from a few people, she is bad news. You know, it doesn't surprise me that Demi is hanging out with her. Probably she can get free drugs and stuff. I feel so bad for Demi. She isn't even 2% of what she was like 5 years ago. The Demi I knew was innocent, nerdy en really shy. The Demi we all see now is a girl, who has no limits anymore. She cut out her emotions and became a robot with no feelings. The day we had our big fight I saw something in her eyes, something that told me she was gone, for good. I never new why but now I understand. I wasn't cool enough anymore. She got cooler friends who are, in her own words" not afraid to be crazy, stupid and silly with her ". Ouch, slap in my face because I know for sure that tweet was meant to me.

I don't know were to go right now so I called my good friend Taylor if I can stay with her for a couple of days clear my mind and figure out what I want with my life. Thank god she is in LA right now. When we arrive at her house I feel my phone buzz in my bag. 1 new text message. When I open my phone I was shocked.

Demi's POV

When I turn around I see my friend Hannah who immediately grabs my shoulders and put me in a big hug. "Hi to you to " I say as nice as I can. Looking over Hanna's shoulder I see Selena walking at the other side of the road. I keep my eyes on her till Hanna's moves back and looks at me.

"Hi Demi, it's so good to see you. "

" Thanks Han, it's good to see you too"

" Do you have any plans for tonight, because I am throwing a party at the Beverly Rock House, you should come. " Free drinks and maybe more you know, the good stuff " she says with a wink. Sure I want to party but something in my mind tells me not to go.

" You know what Han, I call you later okay? I've got some other things to do first. When I am done early, maybe I will drop by. "

" Okay, call me when you get there so I can let you in. " I am goanna go now, I have some things to take care off before the party gets started, bye Demi "

I wave her goodbye and with that I get in my car. I let a big sigh escape from my mouth.

What am I doing? What happened to me? Were did I go wrong? That's all I could think of for the next 10 minutes. My mind was racing like nuts. When I cleared my mind, I finally got the courage to do something I wanted to do for the last 4 years.

Selena's POV

I was still in shock. A message from Demi. I am scared to read it so I decided to wait a little.

"Hey Sel, are you okay? "I hear Taylor ask.

"Yeah I am fine "

"Are you sure, because you look like you just saw a ghost "

"Well actually, I am not okay. Demi send me a message "

"What? When? "

" Like 5 minutes ago and I am afraid to read it "

"Well, we can read it together if you want but I understand if you want your privacy "

" No it's okay I guess we can read it together, you already ouw whole stpry so I hafe nothing to hide from you '

There we go. When I opened the message I was even more in shock, I don't know if that's possible but I was. Demi: _I don't even know what to say to begin with but I am goanna try. First of all, I am sorry for what happened earlier in the restaurant. I know what you think. You think that I don't mean it. That's what you have thought for the last couple of years. That I didn't care about you anymore. And it's your right to think that because I indeed didn't care . Well actually, that's what I always told myself. Truth to be told, Deep down in my heart, I never stopped caring. And it may sound stupid but when I was in a bad state of mind, thinking of you would always help me trough tough times. I understand if you never ever want to have anything to do with me anymore but know that I will be waiting for you. Always. I hope you are willing to try to talk to me again some day. Take care- Demi_

I felt tears burning in my eyes. I looked at Taylor and I couldn't quite understand here facial expression but she brought me in to a hug and I started crying like a baby. I never thought that Demi could to this to me anymore. I thought I was done with it but apparently I wasn't.


	4. Chapter 4

5 Days later

Selena's POV

I am shopping with Taylor when I hear her cell phone ring. When looking at her display she looks at me. "Its Justin " she says. "Do you want me to answer him? " I had put my phone off since I got Demi's message. I needed time to think.

" Sure, you can answer. I already know why he's calling anyway so go ahead. "

I hear her say that I am indeed with her. _Because she needs time for herself Justin. You made a mistake and this are the consequences for the way you've treated her. I don't know, I will ask her. _" Taylor looks at me " he wants to talk to you Sel "

" I think I can talk to him "

"Are you sure ? "

"Yeah, I think so "

"Okay, here he is then "

_Hi Justin. If I am coming home? No am still not going home but I want to talk to you in private. Meet me at the Beverly Hill mall parking garage tonight at 9 pm About? You will find out tonight Justin. Bye. _

I gave the phone back to Taylor "What was that all about? "she asks.

" I think I am goanna break up with him Tay. "

"Are you serious? "Why?" Are you not giving him a second change? "

" Ha had a million changes already but he will never change Tay, I know that for sure. He don't give a shit about me. Sure he loves me but he will do everything in his power to become more and more famous. And I have a feeling he is using me for that and I don't want that. I want someone who loves me for me you know and not for my money or my fame."

" I understand. If you need me there tonight, let me know okay? "

"Thanks Tay but I need to do this alone "

After that conversation we went home to start making. After diner I decided to take a walk in the park to clear my mind before going to meet Justin. While walking in the park I spotted someone sitting on a bench who looks familiar. When I walk closer I see Demi sitting on the bench with her earplugs in her ears silently singing to the music she is listening to. My heart beats in my throat. What am I goanna do? Think Selena and think a little faster stupid before she sees you. I decided to walk a different direction. When I am out of sight I put my cell phone out of my pocket to send a message.

_I think I am ready to talk to you. Be sure you sit were you are sitting now tonight at 11 pm. When you are not there your changes are over, for good. Selena._

When I put my cell phone back I see Demi get her cell out of her pocket to look at the message. After reading she starts to look around her. I started to laugh a little and started walking to the mall. While walking I was thinking about my future. Where do I need to stay? I can't stay with Taylor forever. She won't mind it but I need a home for my self. And what to think of all the stuff which is now still in the house where Justin and I have lived together. I guess I have to call Brian and ask him if he will help me move the stuff to my new home. Finally I arrive at the garage and see Justin already waiting for me in his car. I decided to get in. When I do so I scared him. He wasn't expecting me already I guess.

" Hi Sel, It's good to see you. " I was worried you know" and he tries to kiss me but I turn my head so he kisses my cheek.

"Hi." Is all I get out. While looking at him I got a disgusting feeling. He looks like a child with his pants on his knees like a gangster. What was I thinking years ago to find him attractive? I can't believe I gave this boy my everything. So this is it. Here we go.

" So you wanted to talk to me? "I hear him ask.

"Yes I do. And you know why? " I am done with you Justin. "You did everything to make me go away. "You measure everything, but only when you want so. "You act like a child, but you dress like a gangster. "You look hideous. "You are selfish." You only think about what's good for you and not what's good for me. "It's time for you to become a man but I am not going to watch that change, simply because I don't want to anymore." I gave you 3 years, 3 years to become a man and you are still 12 years old in your behaviour. "I am done with it." I hope you will find someone who is willing to wait for your transformation because I am leaving. "Bye Justin."

And with that I step out of his car. The crazy part? I don't feel any emotion. I thought I was goanna cry but I felt relieved. I look at my watch and see it's 10.30 pm. I walk slowly to the park. On my way I grab some drinks. Dr Pepper, Demi's favourite. I don't know why I bought it but I just did. When I arrive at the park I see her sitting at the same spot she was earlier the night. Still with her earplugs in. I get nervous walking to the bench. She's sitting with her back to me. I pull out the Dr Pepper and keep it for her face from behind. She looks around and smiles a little. Good. Now I need to control my nerves. I go and sit next to her.

"Hi" I say and smile a little looking at her. She looks different. Not bad but different.

" Hi to you to" she says also with al small smile. " You still know what my favourite drink is "

"Yeah, some things you never forget " I say staring at the ground. I feel my cheeks burning. Thank god it's dark. When I look up, I see Demi staring at me when she finally says:

"I am really glad you want to talk. "After I send you that text message I thought you would never reply"

" Well don't expect anything Demi. " You have caused me so much pain that I don't know if I can ever be the same person around you again like I was back then. " To many things have happened between us. " You have changed, I have changed, we became 2 totally different person's in comparison to back then. "

"Well you are not the only one in pain here Selena. " Do you remember what you said to me at our last fight or did you forget? " You were the one who thought that having a career was more important then be together with the person you loved " Do you know how I felt back then? "My world crashed." I have cried for 2 weeks non stop. " After that I grew in to the party scene more and more and I came in contact with the wrong people. "I admit, I have done stupid things but at that time I felt that it was the only way to stop the pain.. " After a while it got out of control. "I used drugs and alcohol almost every day. "That's what kept me going. "Without it I would have been devastated." You should know that I still use some times but I try to stop, but it's hard you know after such a long period. "

I see her eyes get teary and all I wanted to do is hug her but I can't. Not now, not so fast. The last thing I want from now on is that she would be lying again.

" Would you promise me one thing Demi after tonight? "

"What? "

" From now on, you have no secrets anymore for me. "You are not goanna hide things from me. "If I find out, our friendship is over forever."

" You have been out of my life for so long."I am not used to talk to you anymore so I don't know if I can do that but I'll try okay? "

"I hope that you will try hard then. "

With that said I look at my watch and see that it's almost midnight. I am tired of everything that happened today so I think it's time to go home.

" It's almost midnight, I am going home." I am tired. " I get up from the bench to walk away when I realise that I forget to say the most important thing.

" Oh and by the way, I broke up with Justin. " After I said that I walked away from Demi in to the dark. After a few seconds I hear her say:

" I am sorry to hear that. "

I turn around. "Don't be" I am better of without him anyway. " I smile and walk out of the park towards the street which leads to Taylors house. This is going to be interesting.

Demi's POV

OMFG…she broke up with Justin. This must be a gift from god. I am so happy right now, can you imagine? I have waited the last 3 years for this day to come. I already want to see her again but I also don't want to rush it. I think I stay quit for a few days. When I arrive home I feel my phone buzzing. I get it out of my pocket to see what it is. When I open I see it's a text message from Selena.

_It's was nice seeing you again Demi. Maybe we can grab a coffee later this week. _

That's faster than I expected. Not that I am complaining ;). .I send a massage back.

**It's was nice seeing you too. Grabbing a coffee sounds great. Let me know where and **

**when and I will be there. **

I hear my phone buzz again. Damn she's fast.

_What about this Friday, Starbucks on the corner of Sunset Boulevard at 2 pm? _

**Sounds great, I'll be there. **

I put my phone on my nightstand en crawl in bed. I smile thinking of what just happened. After a few minutes I feel my eyes getting heavy and I am on my way to dreamland….


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews! I still don't know where to go with this story but I will figure it out some day haha.**

That Friday

Demi's POV

Why am I so nervous? It's 12 pm and I am at home thinking about how this day will expire. I still don't know what to wear. I am hungry but I can't eat because of my nerves. But I need to eat something before I pass out. Looking in to the fridge I hear my phone buzz. It's my sister.

_DEMI LOVATO, WHAT THE HELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? _

What the hell is she talking about?

**What Dal? **

_Don't play dumb sister, I know you have a meeting this afternoon with somebody… _

**Where , or better, from who did you hear that? **

_None of your business. Since when do you have contact with her? _

**Well, that's none of you business sis ;-). I have to go you know, prepare for my meeting. Bye Dal, love you xoxo **

With that I throw my phone away and put some food together on a plate. After a few bites I started to get nauseous. I throw the rest of the food away and I walk to my bedroom to get dressed. Looking in to the mirror I still don't know what to wear. Should I wear casual or do I need to dress up? It's only coffee…Okay casual it is then. I put some skinny jeans on with a V-neck T-shirt and for the first time in 2 years I put my sneakers on. I don't know why I don't wear them anymore, probably because they don't "fit" my personality…or whatever stupid reason. When I putted some make-up on I look at the clock and see that it's almost 1.30 PM. I guess it's time to go. With one last look in the mirror I spray some perfume on and walk out of my house. On my way to Starbucks I get more and more nervous. When I arrive there, Selena is not there yet so I decided order one Iced Caffè Americano and Selena's favourite the White Hot Chocolate. Cheesy huh ? I know but I still remember her favourite coffee just like she remembers my favourite soda. When they finish our coffees I spotted Selena walking through the door. I wave at her and she smiles at me walker closer.

"Hi" I say.

" Hi" How are you? "

" Good, you? "

" I am good too " she says and smiles at me.

" Good. Here's your coffee, I assume that it's still your favourite? " I say with a small smile

"Omg thank you, and yes it's still my favourite " she says with a big smile.

We spotted a free table at the back. Walking there almost killed my coffee. I was shaking so hard that I almost let my coffee fall from my hands. After I few awkward minutes I finally had my nerves under control and I was able to speak again.

" I got a text message from my sister and she knew about me and you today. " She looks at me and turns her head a little. I see her cheeks getting a little red.

"Yeah, sorry but I told Taylor and she accidently told Ruby. " And you know Ruby is also your sister's friend so I guess she heard it from her.

" Great, Since my sister knows now, I give it 2 days before the hole world knows " I say with a small chuckle. I see her chuckle too.

"Sorry" she says

" Don't be, I don't mind. "It's not like we are together or something. " I see her eyes getting a little sad so I quickly speak again.

" At least, not yet " I wink. She started blushing.

" No, and I think we need to talk a lot more before even thinking about it. " Now it was my turn to look a little sad. You know, I have waited for 3 years and hear her say that just hurts. But I will fight for her heart again. One day she's goanna be mine again. Maybe tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. I will wait for her.

Selena's POV

At least not yet I hear her say and she winks at me. No not yet. We have a lot to talk about first. I need to trust her again. And that will be damn hard after all the things that happened between us.

" No, and I think we need to talk a lot more before even thinking about it. " I say. I see her smile fade away. After a minute or so I speak again.

" Do you have other plans today after our meeting? "

" No, I don't. I took the day off. " Why? "

" What about a little shopping and dinner tonight? "

" Sounds good to me "

" Good. Let's go then. "

While shopping we had a few small talks but nothing to serious. When we arrived at the last shop for the day Demi sees one of her friends. Things got a little awkward. Her friend looks at me with a disgust face. I look at Demi and back at her friend and I realise that it would be better if I just go away so they could talk. " I thought you never wanted to see that girl again? " I hear the girl say " No I didn't but things have changed you know, people change and so do I " I hear Demi say. " Yeah you are very good at that Demi, changing " Well the girl is right at one point so far. Demi is indeed very good in changing. Changing her style, her identity and her friends. You need to be fast to keep up with her. After a few more minutes they were done talking and Demi is walking my way. When we step outside I ask her who that girl was and what they talked about.

" That is Clarissa, I friend of mine who I barley see and we talked mostly about you " she says

" I guess, after all the things you probably said about me she wasn't thrilled to see you and me together right? "

" No she wasn't but it's not her life, its mine and mine decision who I want to hang out with " I look at her and she looks a bit angry. So I let the subject go. " Let's grab some dinner " I say

" Good idea, I am starving " she says.

After a short walk we enter my favourite Italian restaurant "Caesar's Palace". When our waiter brought us to our table I thought it was time to talk about more serious stuff.

" Dem, I want to know a few things " I say

" Ask me anything "

" First, how are you? And I mean how are you really with the whole eating and cutting thing? " She looks down at the table and it takes a few seconds before she speaks.

" Well, I am still not 100% and I know for sure that I never will be. " To many things happened in my life. " I have been hurt in to many ways. " Broken heart, broken family, broken friendships. And I think you should know that, that in the beginning, I blamed you for all of it. " You were my real friend, my girlfriend and you were my family. " And when we drifted apart after our last fight I did nothing but blaming you for all the pain I have been trough. " I told my parents and my sisters that it was your fault, I told my friends that it was you who did that to me. " And now, 3 years later, I regret everything I said back then. " You were the one trying to help me but I was so blind to even recognise it. " I was so sad that we broke up in all ways that it was easy to blame you for my fall out. "

I was in shock but I could have seen that coming. Of course it was my fault. I heart from people around me she talked about me like that but to hear HER say it, it hurts. But I am glad she is honest with me and this is just how it is right now.

" It hurts to hear you say that Demi but I understand that is how you felt. " I am sorry you had to go trough it all. " But I don't think it's fair to put all the blame on me. "

" I know and I am really sorry for that and I will do anything in my powers to make it up to you. " And if you don't forgive me, I understand that because I have been a big asshole to you. "

"We will see how it goes okay? "

" Okay. "

After our talk it was time to eat. We ordered some pasta and salads and to my big surprise Demi ate her whole plate. I look at her and I see her smile.

" Good huh? " she says smiling

" I am surprised in a good way . " I say

" Yeah, after all those years I finally appreciate a good meal . "

" Did I already told you that you look good? " I say but I immediately regret it. I started blushing hard. She sees and started laughing.

" Well thank you and you don't look so bad your self . " she says with a wink.

After a few minutes she starts talking again and to my surprise she opens up more about her struggles.

" Remember when we were 11 or 12 years old and you saw the scars on my wrists? "

" How could I not remember Demi? "

"I cut myself because I knew I could never be the person everyone expects me to be. " Back then I already knew that I was more in to girls then in to boys. " But with my Christian family I just knew it would be a disaster if they found out my secret so the only way to let go of that thought was cutting myself. " I never accepted myself that way "And it's still hard you know " I feel sad for her but it was never easy for me too.

" You should know that it's difficult, also for me to be who I want to be and that is probably one of the reasons I had to broke up with you. " I never understood my feelings for you but now I am older I figured everything out and believe me that wasn't always easy and fun. " I thought that I loved Justin but now I know that I loved him as a friend or more like a brother but I have never been IN love with him. "

" Well, look at us, two big celebrity gaymo's hiding in a closet. " She says laughing. I started laughing to. It's funny, the person you have hated for the last few years is making you smile again. I look at my watch and see that time flies. It's almost 10 pm. After we paid the bill we walked home. Well actually, I walked her home. When we arrived there I had a strange feeling. What should I do?

" Well, this is it , I am home. " Thank you for walking me. "

" No probs, I like getting a fresh nose " I say and look at her. She looks at me and before I know she pulls me in to a hug.

" Thanks again for bringing me home and I hope to see you again soon. " She says while her head is on my shoulder.

" Me too, I had a great day. " I say and pull out of the hug. She starts walking to her front door. When she gets there she turns around.

" Text me when you got home safely okay? "

" I will. " Good night. "

" Bye " and with that I started to walk away. When I arrive at Taylors house, she's already asleep. Probably she has a busy day tomorrow. I walk to my bedroom and pull my phone out of my pocket to send Demi the I am save home message. After e few seconds I got a reply

**D: I am glad you're home safely. I had a great day today. I felt good and that's been a long time. I am glad you are willing to try to hang out with me again. I appreciate that after everything that happened between us. Sweet dreams xo Demi.**

_S: I am glad you had fun today. I had a great time too and I don't like to admit it, but it felt good hanging out with you again. I never lost faith in you Dem. You should know that. Even after everything you did. Sleep well and I talk to you later. X Sel_

**D: Thank you, that means a lot to me :). Every day I try to get better. Little steps but I will get there.**

_S: I know you will :)_


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the late update guys! I hope you guys like this chapter. **

Demi's POV

It's has been 3 days and I haven't heard anything from her. Neither did I call or text her but it's feels empty you know. So I decided to send her a how are you message and to my surprise within a minute or so I got a reply.

**S: Little busy but good. You ? **

_D: I am good to. I was thinking maybe we could hang out again. What are your plans for the rest of the week? _

**S: Uhm…Let me think. I have a meeting tomorrow for a new movie. At night I have a dinner planed with Brian and mom. They are together for 15 years so I am goanna surprise them J. I think I can arrange something on Thursday night if that's okay? **

_D: They are together 15 years already? Damn, time flies! Say congrats to them from me! Thursday night sounds fine. I have a interview at 6 and after that I am free. Sounds corny but there is a fair at downtown LA, wanna go? _

**S: Fair?. Sounds like were back at being 10 again ;). You better make sure you win a big teddy bear for me then ;-) **

_D: We are not going home before I got one. Deal? _

**S: Deal! See you Thursday. Pick me up? **

_D: Sure. Still at Taylors house I assume? How sounds 7.30 pm? _

**S: Sounds fine to me. And yes still at Taylors house. See you then. Bye xoxo **

_D: Great! Xoxo_

After my last massage I git a smile from ear to ear. Damn I can't wait till its Thursday. While walking to my kitchen I hear someone ringing my doorbell. I walk to the front door and when I open it I got see the last person on earth I want to see right now. " We need to talk " he says.

" I don't need to do anything especially talking to you Wilmer. "

" But listen, I want to make it up to you. " I have been an ass and you don't deserve that "

"Well well you finally realize that after all these days? "Good for you but you know, I don't care for you apologies. I am done with you. "

"But" he says but I interrupt him quickly. " No buts and bums her." Just leave okay? " We're done. " I think it's time for me to move on and you should to "We can never be what you want us to be okay? "Now go " I say. He looks at me one more time and then walks away. While walking he turns around. " I hope that you find peace and happiness Demi. " You deserve it. " and then he disappeared .

Back in the house I started thinking about what I really want in my life. I want to be happy, that's for sure but I can never be happy as long as I have to hide the real me. Maybe it's time to tell my family who I really am. But how? Invite them to dinner? Or just randomly tell them when I see them? And my friends, how will they react? Yes they don't know either. I am a pussy right for not telling them but you should know that I am not the real me when I am with them. I play a game, act as a real actress en play it cool but deep down I hate it. Sure they know that I have kissed girls but what they don't know is that I like them way more then guys but it's easy to hook up with guys. They only want one thing and it's easy to give them with no feeling. So I can keep everyone satisfied. But I hate it. I hate myself for it. I feel gross and a whore. And truth to be told, Selena has the right to know about it if we ever start dating again. I am afraid of her reaction but she wants me to be honest with her so I have to tell her.

Thursday night:

After my interview I quickly get in my car and drive to Taylor's home. It's almost 7.30 PM when I arrive at her home. I get out of my car but not before checking the mirror in my car how I look. I fix my hair a little and walk to the front door. I knock and after a few seconds Taylor opens the door. I feel a little nervous.

" Long time no see Demi. " How are you? " she says and looks at me with a look I can't describe right away.

" I am good, how are you? " I manage to get out.

" I am fine. " Come in. " Selena is almost ready to go. " You guess are going to the carnival I heard? "

" Yes, old school huh? " I say and smile a little.

" Yeah but I know she likes fairs. " She always wants to go to one if there is one. "

" Yeah she is a little corny " I say smiling.

" I heard that!" I hear from the stairs. Selena is walking downstairs and damn she looks good. Casual but good.

" It's true and you know that. " You are still a child sometimes " I say.

' Whatever, child or no child, you are the one who takes me to it now . ' she says and sticking her tongue out.

' True because I know what children like these days ' I say with a wink and walk to the front door. " Are you coming or what? ' I say.

" Well Tay, you hear her. " I think I have to go. "

" Have fun " Taylor says to both of us.

" Thanks " we say in chorus.

We get in the car and I am driving towards the carnival. After a few minutes of silence she says " So winning a teddy bear huh? "

" Yup "

"Already figured out how to? "

" Not jet but I will find a way, that's for sure. " I say smiling. She's now smiling at me and we look at each other for e few seconds before I pull my car at the parking lot near the fair. We get out and walk trough to the entrance. The first thing she sees is a cotton candy booth. And of course she wants one. When she got one we walk further to the real attractions. I spot the biggest attraction, a rollercoaster. It's one witch you sit with 4 people and it turns around en goes over header and stuff. I look at her and I see a sparkle in her eyes, She definitely wants to go. " Ready ? ' I ask. " Of course, born ready " she says smiling wide. We sit next to each other. This is goanna be interesting I think to my self. When we move up she grabs my hand and squeezes really hard. I almost scream in pain but I keep it in. When we go down she starts screaming and so do I. After a few minutes it's done and we get out of the ride. I am a little dizzy. She noticed I guess because she grabs my arm to support me.

" That was fun ' She says " But someone over her is a little bit dizzy. "

" Yeah, .I don't feel quite so well. " I say and she starts laughing. She pulls me trough the crowd and she spots a free bench to sit on.

" If you stay here I will get you something to drink. " She says and walks away. She's still as sweet as she was back then. Damn girl why did you let her slip away? When she comes back she sits down next to me. " You still owe me that teddy bear you know . " she says and starts smiling. " Yeah and I will get one for you, believe me, even if that means I have to be at this fair till tomorrow morning. " I say and she starts laughing. " You are one silly girl, aren't you. " she says still laughing.

" I think I am ready to win that stupid bear for you. " I say and stand up from the bench.

" But teddy bears are cute " She pouts. " Whatever you say Sel." And we start walking to the shooting gallery. After what looked like hours I finally got that teddy bear. It was a big white one with fluffy ears. I never have seen her so happy. " I can't thank you enough " she says and pulls me in to a hug. " You're welcome girl. " I hope you finally shut up for the rest of your life about teddy bears " I say laughing. She pulls out of our hug and looks at me serious. " As long as you make sure I never need to throw this one away. " she says. I feel uncomfortable so I look away. " Sorry " she says. " I didn't mean it that way ." " I know what you mean " I say. " I hope one day that it no longer will be required to doubt " I say looking a little sad. Suddenly I felt her soft lips on my cheek. " Then we have to work on that now don't we " she says and I look at her surprised. She looks at me with a soft expression on her face. I smile a little and grab that big teddy bear from her and start running away leaving her behind surprised. When I look over my shoulder I see her coming running closer. I run to my car but before I get there she jumps on my back. I lose my balance and fall on the ground with her on top of me and that big teddy bear between us. I am out of breath and so is she. After a few seconds breathing hard she speaks. " Never ever try to steal my bear again or you got a problem. " " Me, problems? Never " I say sarcastically and I start laughing and she starts laughing to. " Lets get us home ' I say. She stands up and pulls me up. The ride home was silent but not uncomfortable. When we arrive at Taylors house she asked me a question witch I thought she never would, well not so soon. " Want to come in? " " Taylor is at her boyfriend house tonight and she stays there till Saturday. " After a few seconds of quick thinking I get out of the car. " Sure, lets watch a movie or something. " " Okay " she says and we walk to the house. When we are in Selena flops down on the couch. I do the same next to her. " So what do you want to watch? " she asks. " I don't know, what does Taylor have for movies? " " She got a lot of movies in every genre so tell me what you would like to watch . " " Well in that case, how sound I Could Never Been Your Woman? " she looks at me with a amused smile" Ironic much huh? " But sounds good to me " she says and looks for the dvd. When we are settled with popcorn, soda's and a blanket we start the movie. After 30 minutes or so I feel her come closer to me. She puts her head on my shoulder and her hand under the blanket in my hand. " I have missed this so much Dem ' she says. " I watched a thousand movies with Justin like this but it never felt right. I look at her and I smile. " I could get used to this again. " I like it too you know " and I give her a light elbow nudge in the ribs. She smiles at me and I smile at her and before I know it she comes even closer. Her lips almost toucht mine when she speaks " Did I already thanked you for winning that teddy bear? " And before I know it I make the biggest mistake of my life...


	7. Chapter 7

**OMG sorry guys for the late update but I had so many things on my head. It's a short chapter but I hope you like it. **

Chapter 7:

I pull my head away. She looks at me with sad eyes and she turns her focus back to the tv screen.

" I am not ready Selena, I am sorry "I say but she doesn't react. She's still looking at the tv. After a few moments she finally speaks.

" Sorry "

" It's okay" I say " It's just that I got a little scared you know." After everything that happened between us I don't want to ruin this opportunity to be friends again. "

" I understand "she says and smiles softly. "But if it's okay with you I just want to cuddle because I really missed that "

"That's fine "I say and she puts her head back on my shoulder as we watch the rest of the movie. When the movie ended I got up to go home when I feel her warm hand on my wrists.

" Can't you just stay? " We can watch another movie or talk " I look at her. She looks like a sad puppy with those pleading eyes. I can't say no to her.

" Well…if you make sure you can keep your hands off of me missy then I will stay " I say with a wink and she looks at the ground and her cheeks are getting a little red.

"I am just teasing you Sel. " I stay but only at one condition. " I want a drink. " Like a good glass of wine. "

"Well Taylor got a great taste in wine so let's see what she got. " she says walking to the fridge. While opening the door she says:

" You want to get drunk huh? " So you can take advantage of me and I won't remember anything in the morning. " she playfully sticks her tongue out and gets two glasses of wine.

"Well look at you. "Since when do you drink alcohol goody 2 shoes? " I ask teasing

"Goody 2 shoes? Hello did you live under a rock? " There were reports of me sucking on a bong. " Don't you read magazines anymore gossip blogger? she says laughing.

"Yeah I heard but I thought that was bullshit because you would never do such a thing. "I say.

" Well think twice girl. "I may be a good person but that doesn't mean that I didn't experiment with things. " Not that I liked it. " I got a coughing attack after my second inhaling but hey at least I tried. "she says a little ashamed. I started laughing.

" Look at you, badass. " and I started laughing a little louder. She walked up to me and handed me a glass of wine.

" Let's toast on our new friendship. " she says and I smile at her.

"At our new friendship and I hope it will last a little longer then our last time . " I say

After an hour we drank 2 bottles of wine and we got a little loud talking and laughing.

" Ssstttt –_burp_ - our neighbours – _burp_- are sleeping -_burp_. " she says. Oh dear she has the hiccups.

" So? Are they old or what? " If not, then I am going to give them my best Demi noise. " And I stand up from the cough and walk to the backyard. When outside I started screaming like nuts witch leads to Selena running up to me, stumbling.

" Shut up. "she says laughing and put her hand on my mouth. Without thinking I lick her hand. She looks at me and grabs my face and put her lips on mine. I lost it. I started kissing her back and before I know it we landed in the grass. I am sooo goanna regret this tomorrow morning and so does she but whatever. Just live for the moment. After a few minutes of kissing she pulls back. I lay on my back with her on top of me. She looks me in the eyes.

" Did I tell you that you look beautiful today? " she says in a raspy voice.

" Let me think….uhm.. No not yet. " I say smiling at her. I had my hands on her back and softly rubbing it. She pecks my lips and lay down on top of me.

" Would it be weird if we just sleep here? " She asks with her head on my chest.

" It would be a little but we are a little weird after all so I guess that means no, it's not weird at least not for us. " I say and she looks up to me.

" Would you stay here with me? " she asks.

" Here, on the grass or in a comfy bed? " I prefer the second option. " I say winking at her.

"I do too", she says and she starts too move. She pulls me up on my feet and we walk back to the house. Inside she puts the lights out and starts walking upstairs. I follow her, not really knowing were the bedroom is. Inside the bedroom she walks to a big closet and picks up a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. She throws them my way. "Here, you can sleep in these "she says. I look at her and start smirking. "Well I don't know if you remember but I like to sleep naked " I say to her. She slowly start walking towards me and when she is right in front of me she says in my ear: "Well, I can help you get undressed you know" and she starts to kiss my neck. "Someone is a little horney, isn't she? " I say teasing her. She mumbles something and goes further with kissing. After a few minutes I am only in my bra and panties when she starts to undress. "Let me help you with that "I say and I start to undress her. When she is also only in her bra and panties I pick her up and walk slowly to the bed. When we reach the bed I pull her down carefully. I climb on top of her and start to kiss her neck slowly. I go down to her chest and her belly. "You're so beautiful you know that?" she asked, causing her to blush. I look up to her and smile. " Well, not as beautiful as you girl " and my hands got tangled in her brown hair. "I can look at you all day and never get bored" And that is what I want to do for now, just look at you how beautiful you are and how lucky I am again to be friends with you " I say and I lay next to her. She grabs my waist and pulls me closer to her and kisses the top of my nose. "I could start getting used to this again " She says and she looks deep in my eyes. " Omg her eyes, they are so beautiful, so brown and big I can drown in them. After a few minutes of laying in the same position I feel my eyes getting tired and I yawn. "I think that I am about to fall asleep Sel" I say and she yawns too. " Yeah I am pretty tired too " and she snuggles closer to me with her head on my chest. I kiss her forehead and I hear a light snore coming from her. I smile to myself drifting off to dreamland. This is by far one of the best days of my life.


End file.
